Long Time No Blog!

So yeah, haven't posted in forever, but not that anyone reads this right? Anyway, just letting you all know that I am alive, and I am now nineteen, and staying in Thatcher over the summer and I am changing my major to MUSIC. There ya are!

I'm sorry if I am seeming short and not myself, lately I have been having these panic attacks... I just get all nervous and shaky and sweaty and I don't know why. But I probably have a disorder or something like that. Everyone does right?

Anyway... Yup. That's all I wanted to say. I will probably post later this week about how much I am going to miss my room mates and how excited I am for my new ones!

Okay, So This Post is Going to Be a Little Sparatic and Random...

Yup, the title of this post pretty much explains it all. I can't actually say that I know what I am going to be telling you at this point, so here we go...

So there is this song we are singing in A Capella called "How Can I Keep from Singing?" and I super love it. I love the musical-ness of it, but the lyrics are what really hit home. The lyrics are as follows (for the most part. This is actually the original poem with editing by myself) :

My life goes on in endless song:

Above earth's lamentation,

I [hear] the [real], tho' far-off hymn

That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It [sounds] an echo in my soul--

How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble, sick with fear,

And hear their death-knell ringing,

When friends rejoice both far and near,

How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile,

Our thoughts to them go winging;

When friends by shame are undefiled,

How can I keep from singing?

What [if] my joys and comforts die?

[I know that truth is living];

What tho' the darkness [round me calls]?

[Still truth it's light is giving].

No storm can shake my inmost calm,

While to that [rock I'm] clinging;

Since [Love] is Lord of heaven and earth,

How can I keep from singing?

I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;

I see the blue above it;

And day by day this pathway smooths,

Since first I learned to love it.

The peace of [Love] makes fresh my heart,

[a song of hope is bringing];

All things are mine since [truth I've found]--

How can I keep from singing?

This song pretty much fills my whole soul with joy, and I feel this song is so applicable to me. I am having a pretty rough time in my life right now, wondering what I am going to do in Snowflake and whatnot, but I know if I trust in God that He will make my pathway smooth if I trust in Him and have faith that what I am doing is what He wants and is the best for me. And the peace of His love overwhelms my whole being every day.

A lot of times in our lives, something unexpected comes our way that we don't understand. We feel as if there is so much grief and pain and hatred in the world today that life is near impossible to handle, but it is those griefs and disappointments that help us to appreciate the things in our life that are good. God wants us to know that He loves us, and I think that's why He sends trials our way, so that we know He wants us to come to Him and to learn and grow in our time on earth.

Two A.M. and I'm Still Awake, Writing a Song...

Good song that one is! But it is really two a.m. and I am unbelievably tired, and I can't sleep because all of my thoughts are running through my head at 500 mph.

So tonight I was watching this show, called Coming Home or something like that. It's this super cool show about soldiers returning home to their families from war and I just love it! And I also had a realization: no matter what under any circumstances, if there is a soldier and their child watches them return I will most definitely end up crying. I promise you, every single time one of those came up I cried like a little baby. I think it's because I am so moved by the sacrifices that these people make to serve our country, even if it means not seeing their kids for months, or years, at a time. So hats off to the men and women that protect our country, you are truly loved and appreciated! May God bless you!

Another thing on my mind: wow, how am I going to live? It turns out, money DOES NOT grow on trees. And I am a poor college student, needing a new camera, and now, much to my dismay, am living in Snowflake for who knows how long...

I was originally going to live in the valley for at least the summer then try to attend college for another semester AT LEAST. But I have been trying to find places to live and jobs in the valley, and nothing is coming up at all, so of course I take it to the Lord. Well, turns out He has other plans for me! He says, "Snowflake is where you are suppose to be..."

WHAT??? That was exactly what I DIDN'T want to hear. I have been trying to get out of Snowflake ever since I was in High School pretty much! Don't get me wrong, Snowflake is awesome, but I need a break. But guess what? Nope. One year is apparently suppose to be enough of a break. I don't know what I am going to do here, but the Lord knows what He is doing. He just decided to throw me a little curve ball there, and hopefully I can (in all of my human weakness) realize His plan for me and hit a home run.

So, now that I have unloaded into cyberspace, I bid you all
Goodnight!